Are You in Love With Money?
Rarely is there a more emotional topic between people than money. It stirs the imagination. It spurs on anger. It romanticizes relationships. Sometimes money obsession can diverge into real mental health issues when money becomes more important than any other relationship in life.
Are You in Love With Money?
It is fascinating but true. Researchers have discovered that after a certain level of financial success has been satisfied, people realize that money is not going to buy them the happiness for which they were searching because “people often fall in love with money” and at times, people develop such a strong desire for money that they start sacrificing their time for more money—above and beyond what is healthy. They may give up the activities that are shown to actually increase happiness, like going on vacation or spending time with family or friends.
How Does Your Obsession Become Your Master
In modern society, money becomes not only a symbol, it becomes the end game. Money is necessary. But when working for money to buy a home and other necessities becomes working to have more money itself, then an obsession takes the place of desire.
Money then becomes a scorecard. It becomes a game of life that does not always make you a winner. It can make you miserable. A former hedge fund trader, Sam Polk, wrote an opinion piece for The New York Times and explained what happened to him. He calls himself ‘a former money addict.’ And for him, the answer to why he became obsessed was his bonus. In an opinion piece in The New York Times, he explained that when he worked on Wall Street, he would “think about my bonus every day for a year. What is it gonna be? Who’s gonna get paid more than me? I wanted more money for exactly the same reason an alcoholic needs another drink.”
In these types of scenarios, money, and the thoughts about money may begin to rule your life, and then money becomes the master of your every action.
Many people do not realize this has happened to them until a relationship disaster splits open their world.
Breaking the Obsession
It will take less energy to break the obsession with money than it does to continue the battle with it. In this analogy, research has taught us that when money becomes your first love, your driving desire, and the replacement for other relationships, it is time to back off and reassess the situation.
The following steps help to break the obsession with money.
Step 1:
Realize that money:
- Has no consciousness.
- Has no feelings.
- Does not love you
- Does not hate you
- Doesn’t care about you
Step 2:
Distance yourself from:
- Your emotional attachment
- Your joy or depression about money
- Thinking it about it all the time
- Planning or strategizing about how to get more
- Relying on feelings about money
Step 3:
Replace your thoughts and actions about money with:
- Inviting a friend for lunch
- Challenge yourself to turn off your cell phone for 2 hours
- Call loved ones to just say hi and ‘check in’ with them
- Replace the thoughts of money with other positive thoughts
- Track your thoughts about money to understand what you are doing
Being honest with yourself is the most important thing you can do to break your obsession with money. From there, you can begin to heal by ‘catching” your thoughts and changing them.
Make some note cards that you can whip out of your pocket with positive affirmations about other people and things in your life. Here are some examples:
“I enjoy my relationship with my best friend more than I do money.”
“I realize that money is an inanimate tool to use.”
“I depend on my creativity and intuition to sustain me in life, not money.”
“Money is a result of my creativity and intuition and has a proper place in my life.”
Be in love with life, be in love with people, be in love with your career, and realize that money belongs to you, not you to it!
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